oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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