it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
