the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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