worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
