I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
