Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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