can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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