Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
