do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
