6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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