What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
