i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
