OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
