just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
