I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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