Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
