Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He did a backflip because drugs
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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