I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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