we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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