What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
