i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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