ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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