Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
