Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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