guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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