someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
