its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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