He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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