I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
