i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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