fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize