i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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