i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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