Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Alive.
So much puke
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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