I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my poor anus
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
