Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She announced her abortion via fbk
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
