i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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