I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I will pee on everything he values.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
