Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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