I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
