I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize