Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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