You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
