so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
