why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
