dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
