I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize