I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need moral support for this bender
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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