remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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