DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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