Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
