Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
