You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize