Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
