Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
