Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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