Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wanna bring you to show and tell
so explain again why im purple
no
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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