If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
