Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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