Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
