For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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